I Am Complete

I Am Complete
Without you.

I have only understood recently what it is like to feel complete and what it is to love oneself without anyone else making me feel 'whole'. I think our 20s are to feel that yearning and our 30s is to understand that we are whole just by ourselves.

I don't undervalue the companion who uplifts you just with their presence in your life. That is beautiful. But anything can happen. Besides the 'break up' that may happen (controllable), there is death in its finality (uncontrollable). If we place so much significance on feeling complete WITH someone what happens if that person is no longer around. This could be anyone or anything, from a romantic partner to a pet.

Take the love of our parents.
Full disclaimer: I love my parents and my brother so much, to bits.
At some point our independence sets in. That feeling you get that this life is MINE to live, to do what I think I should, my identity is now separate from that familial bond.
I also now understand what it is like to let go as a parent has to let go. When we're young we are so eager to make our mistakes that our parents have to let go but now I let go and allow MY PARENTS to make their mistakes.

I don't know how many young adults in their early 30s feel like I do. But I feel this overwhelming need to protect them. Almost like they are so vulnerable and gullible and fragile that I want to protect from them and keep them safe but I know I cannot control their decisions so I must let go. I can voice my concerns but I should eventually let go.

I also feel I now understand what it is like to let go with my brother. He is the young one. I am the older one. So I am bound to feel like I want to force my life lessons on him to prevent him from feeling the pain that comes from falling but I get, now, that, sometimes we should let our younger siblings fall on their own and learn on their own.

In the end, all we can do is offer support and just be there for them.

I wish more people understood they don't NEED a 'soulmate' to feel complete. We are all so whole, beautiful and 'full', just on our own. People who come into our lives (and sometimes go) are adding value, NOT completing anything.

Without placing blame, I feel a lot of this thinking is conditioned in us by family, society and peers and we just accept it. "If everyone else is saying that they feel complete, that must mean I will also feel complete ONE DAY when that special some one walks into my life"

I remember my grand uncle a very long time back telling in my teens that no one can complete and of course as most teens would I listened through one ear and lost the wisdom almost immediately. I hope more young adults realize sooner we are all complete.

We are born alone and we go alone. We only add value and we receive value to others we meet along on this beautiful journey we call life.

And since I am too pragmatic for a woman, I must add, in my own distinct flavor, that if we really would only be complete AFTER meeting a soulmate, how would we justify not meeting them in this 7 billion populated packed world with all of us SCATTERED around the globe. What if that soulmate was an Artic scientist but the likelihood of you meeting them is almost nil considering you are geographically separated for most of your life and would most never get the chance to meet him or her. I also doubt this scientist would have time to add an online dating profile which slims your chances of meeting this soulmate even more.

As "connected" we all our thanks to this thing we call the internet, we are all so separated too. This internet doesn't necessarily guarantee our connection with this soulmate.

At the end of the day, we learn to let go and learn to make the most of the people that DO enter our lives. No one can ever be perfect for us. We MAKE the most of the gifts they are to us and we MAKE IT WORK.

I have written about my thoughts on Soulmates here separate from this so this post doesn't get too long.  (No idea why the file isn't uploading. Typical Aussie internet!)